


somebody else

by GWritesNovels



Series: face the music [1]
Category: PVRIS (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Gen, Poor Lyndsey, Post-Break Up, Sad, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-21 12:50:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14285298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GWritesNovels/pseuds/GWritesNovels
Summary: "I don't want your body, but I hate to think about you with somebody else." ---The 1975





	somebody else

_Calm down, Lyndsey,_ she thinks, splashing cold water on her face and looking into the mirror. _Breathe. It wasn't her._

There's another splash of water, and Lynn clutches the sides of the sink tightly, taking a shaky breath. _It's been two months. How could she move on that fast?_

A choked sob escapes as she finally mutters, "Either that wasn't her or I never meant anything." The backs of her eyes sting and she laughs humorlessly as she realizes that the latter is more likely.

Lynn could never forget Jessica's beautiful face, and the image of it pressed against somebody else's is too much for her to bear.

Tears spill down her cheeks. "I was never good enough." Her voice cracks, and Lynn finally allows herself to cry freely. She sobs until she can't breathe and her body is too weak to stand. Lynn collapses, her back against the dingy wall, knees pulling to her chest.

Memories fill her head, and her body shakes even harder.

_The last time Lynn saw Jessica, she thought everything would be okay. They had met at the coffee shop downtown, where the other girl had seemed happy enough, and then headed back to Lynn's apartment for movies and cuddles._

_The blonde had been playing with the redhead's hair contentedly, humming softly to herself. She'd been working out some kinks in a new song and needed to try it out. She was just about to ask what Jess thought when the other girl trained her deep blue gaze on Lynn._

_"I'm sorry," she said, "but I don't think that I can do this anymore."_

_Lynn sat up straight, her heart beating faster. "What---What do you mean?" she stammered._

_"I think we should break up."_

_"Why? What's wrong?" Lynn asked, a million thoughts running through her head._

_"I've just been thinking. You're going back on tour soon, and I have my life here. And it just feels like we don't fit together anymore, like one of us has changed too much. It might be for the best if we just---"_

_The blonde's eyes filled with tears as the words processed in her head._

_Nearly two years. Their anniversary was next week. Lynn had loved the other girl with all of her heart for so long. When had Jess fallen out of love with her?_

_She couldn't find anything to say. No matter how much she wanted to beg and plead to make the other girl stay, Lynn knew there was no use. It took two to make a relationship work, and if Jessica wasn't happy, she wouldn't make her miserable anymore._

_Tears began to fall, but she never spoke a word. Jess threw her legs over the side of the couch and pushed herself up. She muttered something under her breath that sounded a lot like, "This is exactly what I was talking about."_

_As Lynn helplessly watched Jessica leave, their eyes locked one more time. The other girl's gaze seemed to scream one phrase._

It's not me, it's you.

_Then she walked out the door of Lynn's life._

After what feels like forever, Lynn pushes herself off of the floor and looks in the mirror, sighing at the mess of makeup on her face. She takes care in removing it and reapplying mascara, as it's all that she brought with her tonight.

Finally, she takes one last deep breath before she walks out of the bar's bathroom.

Immediately, the small hum of music grows increasingly louder. Lynn searches the sea of dancing bodies for her best friends, running a hand through her hair nervously when she can't find them.

"There she is!" Lynn jumps as a hand wraps around her wrist. She whirls around to see Alex, an expression of concern crossing his features. "Where'd you go? We've been so worried, Lyndsey." 

"We were looking everywhere!" Brian adds, appearing next to the taller man.

"I'm sorry, guys," Lynn apologizes sincerely. "I was in the bathroom." 

"Wait," Alex murmurs, stepping closer and examining Lynn's face. "Have you been crying?" he asks softly. She hesitates for a moment, but finally nods. "What's wrong?"

"J-Jess." Lynn averts her gaze as her voice breaks again. "She's here. With---she's not alone."

"I'm so sorry," Alex says, biting his lip and wrapping his arms around her, Brian following suit.

"Do we need to fight a girl for you?" the smaller man asks. "I'm not afraid to issue a well-needed knock-down drag-out." Lynn can't help but giggle a little at his words, imagining the scene that it would cause.

"Thank you, Brian, but that's okay. We need to save the drastic measures for absolute emergencies."

"But Lyndsey, you're sad. That _is_ an absolute emergency." 

Lynn smiles. "I'm lucky to have the greatest support system ever. You guys are amazing. Thank you for being here with me. I'm sorry I'm a little emotional, it's just really hard." She bites her lip and looks around the bar, where her eyes lock on Jessica once more. The redhead is still sucking the face off of a pretty brunette up against the wall, and the sight sends agonizing pain through Lynn's chest. But she's not running away again. Instead, she wraps an arm around each boy's shoulders. "I love you guys so much."

"We love you, too, Lyndsey," Alex says with a small smile.

"We really do," Brian replies, smiling fondly as well. Silence falls for a moment, and then he comes up with the best suggestion that Lynn's heard all night. "How about one more drink?"

~ ~ ~

Lynn decides that she's going to need more than just one last drink when she sees Jessica and her new girl walk by them, holding hands and laughing, neither sober. 

When she sees them later, coming out of the bathroom with disheveled hair and wrinkled clothes, she hides the tears as she realizes that no drink in the world could possibly make this pain go away.

~ ~ ~

When neither Alex nor Brian is looking, Lynn slips away, already cursing herself for the horrible choice that she's about to make. "This is the dumbest thing you've ever done, Gunnulfsen," she mutters to herself, scanning the crowd for a very familiar redheaded girl.

She _has_ to talk to her before the night is over. This might be her final chance.

Finally, her eyes land upon her target, and Lynn begins moving through dancing bodies, politely muttering "excuse me" and "sorry" as she goes. When she's finally standing behind the woman that she both loves and fears, she takes a deep breath and taps on Jessica's shoulder. The other girl whirls around at her soft touch. She blinks in disbelief, then says in a slightly shocked tone, " _Lynn_?"

"Hi, Jess," Lynn replies with a forced smile that doesn't reach her eyes. "How, um---how've you been?"

"Good," Jessica replies, nodding. "I got a promotion at work and I'm seeing someone now. These past couple of months have been the greatest I've had in a long time."

The words hit Lynn like a kick to the stomach. She's known since she started over here that it would hurt, but now that she's actually hearing the words falling from Jess's lips, the pain is ripping her apart inside. "Oh. That's great." She makes an attempt to lighten her voice, but to no avail.

"What did you want to say to me, Lynn? I know you came over here for a reason." 

"I just wanted to let you know that I really miss you and that I hope you're doing well."

"What else? I know there's something. It's in your face."

"I was hoping that when I saw you again, I could ask for another chance. But I obviously can't now."

"Anything else?"

Lynn debates on whether or not she should ask the final question, not knowing if she wants to know the answer. If she doesn't ask, it'll bother her for the rest of her life. If she does, the pain will tear her apart even more.

"Do I matter to you?" She pauses. "Have I ever?" _Because I know you'll always matter to me._

"You did, at one point. You did a great deal. Just not anymore."

With that, Jessica turns away, taking Lynn's heart with her and stomping on it along the way.

The blonde stumbles back, unable to breathe as she watches the woman she loves, the woman who will never love her back, lace hands with Lynn's replacement.

There's one final question on her tongue: _Where did I go wrong?_

Now she'll never know.

"Lyndsey! What happened?" Brian's voice brings her back to the present, taking the white noise of chaotic thoughts out of her head for a split second. "What did she say to you?"

"Nothing." Lynn shakes her head, holding back the new wave of tears. "It doesn't matter. Besides, I think we were cursed from the start."


End file.
